I sure dont feel like i have been clean and sober for one year!!!

This person needs some kind of psychiatric medication delivered intramuscularly. I have no sympathy for her kind of suffering. When you think of the countries such as Colom bia and Mexico where innocent people’s lives are shattered by the illegal cocaine trade the concern for the user slowly evaporates. Find her a good social worker, a reliable ankle bracelet, and a small town for exile and close the case.

Nobody on this planet can look inside anothers heart. Irrational behavior cannot be rationalized. Drug addiction is a disease. The only ones who can truly understand it have been through it personally. These people are trying to fill a void in them that cannot be filled with crack or any other substance. That personal void is what needs to be recognized. For some people this is hard to look at. They do not want to believe that this could happen to them. I know this story.

I’ve only ever known one person who used (and was addicted to) crack cocaine, and I only saw him briefly after he became very addicted (was a Black man, a good friend to me, and the thing I recall most was he was so ashen, a sickly blue hue to his skin and he was so drawn and thin, skin hung a bit off his cheeks and body of a formerly robust man).

I am familiar with addiction more in alcoholism as its been in my family, and it was nothing like this.

I have never known a person who has this lady’s ‘profession’

I called her a lady just now with intention because of of the things about her that struck me most is that she does carry herself at all times we were shown anyway, like a lady and to be honest, I would not have expected that.

She was also very honest it seemed to me (and that was unexpected too), even if at times honest in a sort of rehearsed/recited sort of way, she certainly ‘knows the drill’ and the deal of what she’s doing it seems.

She talked very very fast and it was very hard for me to process what she said (I had to rewind a number of times) and I wondered if that was the drugs or how she naturally is or if she has a mood disorder or anything else she is also ‘self medicating’ with her addiction.

The most admirable thing about her is that she doesn’t give up on quitting, that she repeatedly time and time again does keep trying.

I wonder if she ever sits still, is ever just quiet, what is she like when alone, does she keep on talking (maybe to herself?) and moving/constant motion even then? Wonder if she ever gets to live in anything other than a little room; I wonder about never getting a ‘day off’ from the constant phone and her profession.

Thank you for (this website) for yet another interesting thought provoking look into another human being. You seem very good at that here.

Wow. I guess sitting in a room with a junking while she answers the phone is considered a documentary. Pathetic. So I’m supposed to be shocked at her behavior or impressed because she had a “good” upbringing? I feel like the “friend” asking the questions is just drooling over her “sordid” answers and the amazing candid footage he thinks he’s capturing. Too easy. This is just crappy voyeuristic home movie making.

This woman is a mother and a daughter. She breaks the hearts of all who know and care about her, yet she is carefree. WHO is Cracked and WHO is Not Broken in this story?
She lies to others and to herself. Her tears are false, a ploy for sympathy. She uses the film not to raise awareness but as a faulty rationalization of her addiction as a sickness; pure psycho-babble. She feels shame and knows not what for; not ashamed of herself “because it’s not as though...” stopping just short of admitting she has no control.
“repressing something that needs to be repressed”, “complete surrender is the way it has to be”, “This is real, this is not a ghetto thing, this is happening to all sorts of different people”, “It’s not talked about, it’s pretended it’s not there”, “it’s important to everyone to realize it is there, and try to understand what’s going on because we are greatly misunderstood”, “I survive it by doing what I have to do to stay high”
No Lisa, few are pretending other than the addicts who, when they get sick or hit a low, go to rehab where someone else will (if nothing else) take responsibility for them long enough to get them back on the street ready to PnP. 
And even fewer fail to understand that an addict is the ultimate drama major, will convincingly lie, cry, beg, ####, anything they need to do in order to get their party on.
You are allowing yourself “to be presented en masse” because you are at a low, you feel like ####, you look like crap, you’re twitchy and itchy, and no-one wants to play with - much less pay for your skanky ### at the moment.
YOU are exploiting your own child, speaking of him/her in tears only for yourself.
Talk about reality - how many of your “associates” are first time IV drug users? Young, dumb, full of cum anxious to experience that “older woman” fantasy, how much disease are you spreading with your needles and your nasty twat?
Oh, and you are NOT a “client” of the needle exchange program, nothing is purchased. The program is merely a small effort to contain disease while the narcissistic junkies party on.
Is that harsh? GOOD! Reality is a motherfucker.
I am repulsed because you are my son and no amount of caring, talking, understanding, praying, cursing, pleading, enabling, helping, rejecting, embracing, NOTHING I do helps because you care ONLY for your drugs.
Did you even call your Mother after her very heartfelt letter. Her tears are only a drop in the river of Mother’s tears.

recovered that is the most wrong thing I have heard, most addicts and alcoholics are anything but smart or intelligent, they might be street smart or talk like they are deep. But that is just a bs line from lying so much.

Most drug addicts and alcoholics are also pathological lie-rs

There are few things more annoying or tedious than watching a junkie trying to find a vein.
I’m so sick of this current trend of hardcore addict documentaries, and this one in particular was painful to watch, not because of the subject matter but because it’s so poorly made.
Very uninteresting and self-important.

God is not the answer. just a cover up or easy fix.. can’t believe half the things in the bible so I dunno why someone would revolve a religion around it. religion was born way before christianity and its doing today what it did back then; controlling people and generating a false profit.

the book that saved me:
The God Delusion By Richard Dawkins

Most drug addicts and alcoholics are higher than or above average intelligence.

dear lisa

i was a user for almost 20yrs, i couldn’t stop. i put my family through alot, but also learned alot too. i cried out to Jesus and he delivered me, i found out he was what i was seeking all my life. he filled the empty void i tried to fill on my own with drugs and other things, he filled it with himself, i’ve never known love like this could before. it changed my life , or should i say he gave me a new one, washed my sins away with he’s blood, and now i have a real purpose in my life. to share what he did for me. if i can help you in anyway please feel free to contact me. i don’t want anything from you but i do have something to share .. the Love of God. .... my God richly bless you with himself.  todd 732 925 6290 call or email me
(this is also posted here for anyone who needs help. silver or gold have i none but i do have plenty of love to give, the love Jesus has given me is more than i can contain , i want to share it with whoever needs it.  feel free to call or email me at i love you all todd

melissa says: “an addict will ALWAYS be an addict”

That is nonsense. I spent a year or so with the glass pipe. It ate up most of my net worth. One night I said enough. I never looked back. That was in the early 80s and I now find that the whole experience was educational, but I have no desire to become that person again. There are no cravings or urges to ever repeat the experience.

If one sees the objective reality of that practice, it is very easy to walk away. At least it was for me. But then, I am addicted to objectivity now.

Dear Lisa,   Thank you for letting the world inside your life for an hour.    More than a drug use film, it is a perfect way to show the reality of prostitution and more importantly--the way prostitution allows addicts to support their habit.    And of course--lets not forget the men who have no problem using drug addled pros for their sexual needs and then condem them the minute they are out the door--or hold their own daughters and wives to high standards but will pay a drug addict to service them.    Ironically--these men have no problem with their wives own addictions--often hiding them from their communities--and those wives condeming prostitutes---if they only knew.    Thank you for having some standards even in your addiction--that in itself should be evidence that deep down inside you know you are worth--SOMETHING MORE THAN WHAT YOU ARE DOING.   Please take care of yourself--I understand where you are.......

Dear Lisa...I pray that you have found your footing and that you’re doing better and better each day!  I know you are getting very close to 50 now and I need to tell you something.  My husband, who was 50, died 6 months ago.  He was so much like you Lisa!  I hope you will find the help you need and want before you use up all of your passes.  May God bless you and your future.

xoxo

an addict will ALWAYS be an addict
even if they r clean for 10+ years
they r still an addict
for an addict there is no recovery
it is a life long battle and a
disease that will never be cured

Lisa I will give you that hug you think you need to feel from the drug.

lisa great job super delivery no fake sensored bull%&(*& much appreciated letting us in and getting to know you so intimately its about time someone spoke up and made people feel uncomfortable about something so many secretly live simply thank you

Lisa says she is 30 but looks younger ... huh? ... more like she is 30 but looks 40 ... today ... tomorrow she will look 50 ... God cannot help because he/she exists only in people’s hopes ... once any semblance of attractiveness disappears then life will only get uglier ... great .. good luck, Lisa ...

All is not lost. I know that relapse is frustrating, but I would encourage her to keep giving treatment another try.  I imagine that getting out of that lifestyle would make her daughter proud.

Lisa,

You can do this. I know the shame of addiction. I’ve now been sober for almost 15 years. There are so many people willing to help you if you’ll just let them. You don’t have to live your life like this, you CAN turn it around. I believe that with all my heart...just surrender and turn it over.

Much love and hope for your recovery,

Lee Anne

Dear Lisa,

I watched this movie on the edge of my seat, hoping beyond hope that it did not end on a very sad note.  I am praying for your recovery.  I’m proud of you that you have come this far. I know addiction is a disease; one that you share with my daughter.  She has been in recovery for 9 months and goes to meetings 6 days a week.  I encourage her and will always stick by her, no matter what.  I hope you have family who will do the same for you.

Please keep up the wonderful work that you’ve been doing.  God look over you.

I don’t have the twelve years that it is going to take to download this ####### MOVIE BEFORE I CAN WATCH IT!!!!

I am grateful for these films but your interface sucks so hard. Get it right. Play and pause is so necessary. This will never fly else.

I think LIsa is very honest and very smart. I think she would make it if she would go to a rehab that last for about a year or longer. If she could step far enough away from the big picture she could grasp everything that is driving her to this behavor.  Good luck

I just wanted to say CONGRATS on your sobriety! This was a great piece, and extremely touching. You’re a beautiful person Lisa, with one helluva personality. Good luck to you and your child, I believe in you!

Just wanted to thank you all for your comments and prayers.
I am clean and sober 14 months and doing well.

Lisa

Dear All,

I would also like to thank you for watching our film and contributing to the dialogue. I have shared some of it with Lisa and she finds it very helpful as she continues her recovery. As Paul mentioned pls check our our site at http://www.crackednotbroken.com. Pls snag this film and share it with others. Copies of the film are for sale on the site as well.

All the best

Tom Powers, Producer, Open Door Co.
http://www.opendoorco.com

I wanted to thank everyone for responding to the film and leaving encouraging comments for Lisa. I also wanted to let everyone know that Lisa celebrated 1 year of sobriety in October last month. For more information check out the film website at
http://www.cracked notbroken.com

Sincerely:
Paul Perrier
Filmmaker

Lisa,
I just want to thank you for sharing your story and putting yourself out there, you are a very brave young woman. Seeing you be so real and feeling your shame right along with you, I want to reach out and hug you and tell you that I love you. I’m sure that God will bless your honesty and openness and use this film to educate those who are ignorant and don’t understand. No matter what, just remember that God loves you at ALL times. You don’t have to be perfect for Him to see you as His child that He adores. You are the apple of His eye and He loves you!

Lisa,

God bless you.  Forgive yourself.  Realize none of us do the right things all the time.  My wife and I have tried quitting smoking several times.  No dice.  And that is just smoking Camel Lights; although Camel lights are a smooth blend of Turkish and domestic tobacco.  We will continue to try.  I also am aware of the struggles with mental illness.  Former girlfriend had Bipolar disorder, with Borderline Personality to boot.  She could not help doing the things she did.  That was the way her brain was wired.  Forgive yourself.  Then find an environment that you can heal.  I hope this is not preachy.  Watching the video makes me want to reach out and hug you and make it all better.  Doesn’t work that way.  But I can see in the video you have more than enough strength to do this.  Just do it.  Forgive yourself of the past.  Can’t change yesterday, but you can change tomorrow.

Thank you Lisa for allowing us to peak into your worl.  You have made me more aware of just how difficult it is to beat the crack addiction.  I now have more compassion and understanding toward crack addicts.  God bless you, I am praying for you!

Thank you Chris Kitchens For having writing those words. I’m a 26 yrs old artist and i am addicted on speeds. Today, you have give some hope to a young Canadian. Thx again !!

Keep fighting the good fight Lisa, one day it will stick.  it really will.

Having had so many friends go down this path, Lisa will end up dead, And what a shame, she has so much to give. Goodbye Lisa.

I have one suggestion, and it worked for me and many others:
Ask God to remove the desire to use from you, and He will take it away. I used for about 23 years, and had tried 50 or more times to really quit. After I got down on my face and asked God to help me by taking that desire away, and replacing it with His desires, I almost immediately felt his presence and touch again. It had been absent for around 13 years, and now I have a decent sucky job, like everyone else, and still have time to accomplish more than I ever could while using. My family is healing, and I serve washing dishes at church for nothing, and it brings me great joy. Just because I am NOT high, and dont want to be any longer. I thank Him every day for helping me, and God can help anyone that asks for it. If you are reading this, and doubtful, let me tell you that no one gets here by accident. You have found this movie, maybe this comment, just to have a new chance at life. Just trust God. He is way bigger than anything people can screw up. He made us all in His image, and with love, and a desire to fellowship with us through prayer and worship. He sent Jesus to die for all sin, yours, mine, everyone that asks. Everyone. No matter how bad you think you are, or how much pain you have caused, Jesus still loves you and wants to heal you. Please dont wait until someone is calling your relatives to identify your corpse. If you are living the addicted life, playing the game, just know that the game has an ending. No one squeaks by forever because of their own knowledge or experience. Everyone dies at some point. Facing an eternity without hope in Jesus is scarier than any addictive behavior. God isn’t worried about your past. He wants you to have a future, and a glorius relationship with Him.
Trust me, if someone like me can get clean, anyone can, with God’s help. Just ask for it. What have you got to lose? All that glamour and excitement you have now? I only see pain and anguish when I look back on my using. Not to mention that I have a renewed life, and a chance to look at the world with clear vision and opened eyes. You can have that as well. Ask God for help and to remove the desire to use. Trust another junkie’s opinion: It works!

1 Peter 5:8-Be sober, be vigilant, because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about seeking whom he may devour.

Don’t be devoured, be released to be who you really are. God and I love you more than words can say. Chris K. Memphis, TN

Amazing courage to open oneself up so honestly. I too left with a different, better understanding of addiction. Thank you. Good luck and God bless.

I THANK YOU LISE FOR THE COURAGE TO FACE YOU ,IN THE MIDST OF STRANGERS,I TO WAS ONCR THERE BUT I THANK GOD EVERY DAY THAT I AM SOBER FOR 19 YRS WITH NO THOUGHTS OF EVER GOING BACK TO THAT LIFE STYLE’ I’LL PRAY THAT GOD WILL SAVE YOU AND TAKE THE TASTE OF THE DRUG OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM, FOR YOU ARE DOING A THING BY SHARING THIS EDUCATIONAL PEICE WITH OTHERS GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOU

Very captivating and revealing film. Incredible to see the power of addiction. Great she was so willing to share the moment.

Thanks for sharing

very captivating and revealing and glad I don’t have those sorts of issues to deal with. Incredible to see the power of addiction.

Thanks for sharing

My wife and I sat down and watched this video and I believe we walked away with a better understanding of what life is like when dealing with an addiction.  Thank you, Lisa, for being vulnerable and sharing your story.

An unbelievably good film that really digs deep into the heart of addiction and all that it can consume. This film made me take a hard look at my drinking habit and really has given me some strength to finally move onto the next chapter of my life, sober. Thank you for this.