Ive been raped by someone i knew. we had previously gone out and i knew his whole family intimately, his mother, father, brother, friends....his mother was also a feminist activist friend of my mother. i always thought i would know what to do if it ever happened to me, that i would not hesitate in any way, but after experiencing it i realized how hard it is and how complicated it can be. It just destroys you. i didnt know how to deal with it, i became ill, severely depressed, started drinking and taking prescription pills to escape, constant nightmares, lack of sleep, etc.....i came to feel so hopeless and empty that i became suicidal.....
just saying the word rape is painful....if i hear it in conversation i feel ill. You find yourself in a situation where you feel completely dissociated from the rest of the world.
before it happened to me i thought i knew what rape was, what to do, etc....now i know that it is so complicated and relative that one can never know or understand cases of rape.









